Swans

God! Swans are, like, totally Monica Bellucci hot. Look at them! We can’t even tell which is the dude. Maybe it’s the one that looks more like Antonio Banderas. But really, who’d throw either one out of bed for eating water bugs?

That makes it all the more fucked up that yesterday seven swans were found beaten to death near Lake Senba in Mito, Japan.

According to an AP story, “the birds died of severe internal bleeding. Several eggs in nests were smashed, the police said. The dead swans … were [likely] attacked with a stick while sleeping on the lakeside during the night.

No motive is listed with the story, but another report today from the International Herald Tribune indicates that the deadly H5N1 strain of avian influenza was detected in one dying and three dead swans discovered last week near Lake Towada in Japan’s Akita prefecture.

Could it have been a bird-hating, germaphobic, Japanese baseball player?

Or this man?

“Swans” is also this song by Indian Jewelry, a band from, uh, Afghanistan? They are playing at the Hi-Dive on Wednesday, April 30. So if you like hot birds and/or turquoise you’d be wise to check that out.